


A Sojourn on Midgard

by orphan_account



Series: Lokijarson [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Break Up, Crossover, M/M, Mpreg, Pre-Canon, Romance, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 20:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20217856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He settles (as much as the god of chaos ever can) and he foresees no near end to his sojourn on Midgard. He is away from his irritating brother, his aloof father and the snide court of Asgard. He has had no near death experiences since coming to Midgard, nor has he needed to rescue others from one. He is learning (one must always make an effort to learn, after all) and experiencing something so wholly different from the boredom of Asgard. Everything is good.And then he discovers Tony Stark.(Repost from 2016/2017)





	A Sojourn on Midgard

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a repost of something I first wrote and posted in 2016/2017, then I promptly had a particularly bad patch regarding mental health and writing and deleted everything. Anyway, here it is again, with some very very minor edits (mostly corrections of spelling etc.) and I will shortly be following up with the main story as well.
> 
> This is set in the 1990s (from 1997-1999) and Tony Stark is 27 when this begins. I took 1970 as his birth year, despite encountering some discrepancies online about this! Loki’s theoretical birth year is when the Frost Giants invaded Midgard in 965 (as mentioned in Thor) but who the hell knows how they age/how Asgard's time lines up with Earth's. 
> 
> There is some hefty shifting around of timelines for the Harry Potter world, with Harry's birth year shifting from 1980 to 1999, but the HP world is only very briefly mentioned in this story - the main story is WAY more concerned with that world.

His brother is becoming unbearable. Since he had been gifted with Mjolnir, his arrogance and recklessness has known no bounds and Loki is growing tired of it. He has remained at Thor’s side as is his duty as younger brother and has adventured and fought alongside the pompous oaf, but enough is enough. Loki has been on one too many adventures that have ended in injury or a near death experience for one of their party. He needs a break and that is what he is going to have. It is only a small matter of receiving permission from his father to travel the nearby Realms - Vanaheim and Alfheim, he says, when Odin asks (though he may venture a little further afield than that), with the aim of studying further. His father acquiesces to his wish, more distracted with watching Thor in the training grounds as usual. Loki has always known the best moments to request things of his father. 

He spends the remainder of the day with his mother in her chambers, allowing her to fuss and fret over him as much as she wishes to. When she is done, he regales her with tales of his tricks around the court and she laughs freely and delightedly, even whilst attempting to scold him for his mischievous nature. When he rises to take his leave of her in the evening, she fixes him with a firm look and tells him to enjoy his studies and to bring her tales of the other realms. He knows by the glint in her eyes that she is wise to his intentions to explore beyond Vanaheim and Alfheim. She will not tell Odin of his plans, this he knows, but she wants him to be careful and to consider his options fully before making any decisions. He has never been rash before, nor does he think he will start being so now, but he appreciates her mother’s worry. He kisses her forehead and embraces her tenderly in parting.

He leaves early the following morning, by Bifrost for Vanaheim. He sees neither Odin nor Thor and briefly he wonders whether they will notice his absence. A small, bitter part of him thinks they would never notice if he were there or not, but he brushes that aside easily. Thor will miss him and his tricks in the dull Council meetings and Odin will miss their intellectual conversations over family dinners. He regrets not saying farewell to them, but he is sure he will see them soon enough.

He is on Vanaheim only long enough to glean information from some of his more shady contacts as to the secret passages of Yggdrasil - specifically ones to Midgard. The information comes easily and at little cost; many of his contacts owe him a debt anyway. They tell him what they know and he finds his way to Midgard, girding himself with protective magic as he walks along the branches of Yggdrasil, exposed to the raw power of the World Tree. He steps out into bright sunshine and lush, verdant woodland and his first thought is that Midgard has not changed in the centuries since his last visit here - but then he hears the cacophony of unfamiliar sounds, roaring and beeping and grinding all around this little pasture. He glances upwards and sees buildings towering above him, all kinds of shapes and sizes and covered in glass. Midgard has grown indeed. 

As he ventures further out into the wooded area he has arrived in, he conceals himself from the humans he initially sees. They walk hurriedly through, some seemingly talking to themselves or into strange, clunky devices held to their ears. Others, only a few, seem content to sit on wooden benches and commune with nature as they satiate their hunger and thirst. Humans are vastly different from how Loki remembers them. They are still the same in all the essentials, but from what little he has seen thus far their technology and understanding of the world they inhabit has apparently grown. Their manner of addressing each other is different - less formal - and they wear such strange garments unlike any Loki has ever seen with such vast variety. 

He spends a few days in concealment, watching and following the humans about, learning small things to begin with - enough so he can blend in just a little. He learns that the vast city he has found himself in, with the tall buildings and ceaseless noise is called New York City and is part of the nation known as the United States of America. He learns of their different modes of transportation - cars, trains, buses, planes - and in his concealment even rides the subway to try to get the feel for it. It is noisy and chaotic and so different from the irritating serenity Asgard is oftentimes engulfed in and he loves it. He walks through a mall - a strange form of marketplace - and peruses the wide range of clothing humans now wear, easily distinguishing between the cheap and expensive items on offer. He is a prince, after all, and he knows quality when he sees it. He watches the humans pay with odd, small rectangles of parchment, or little bits of plastic and wonders at how much easier it seems than the Asgardian way of awkwardly carrying pouches filled with heavy gold coins. The humans, it seems, are all about ease and convenience. 

When he feels confident enough in the basics, Loki finds a discreet alley to remove his concealment spell and takes a little time to transform his clothes. In short order his traditional, princely Asgardian leathers are gone, replaced by a pair of dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket. It is rather simple, but effortlessly fashionable - from what Loki has gleaned in his short stay thus far; one cannot go wrong with tight-fitting jeans and a leather jacket. 

Loki leaves the alleyway. He blends in with the crowds walking the streets of New York City effortlessly. With nimble fingers, he pickpockets a man at a crossing, relieving him of the interesting parchment money and one of those plastic cards before slipping the wallet back. Money, Loki has learned, is necessary on Midgard. Here he is not a prince and people will not defer to him as such and let him have what he wants for free. Neither does he have Odin’s vaults for any larger purchases he might wish to make. He must make his own way here - although this is not something he is stranger to. Sorcerer that he is, he often makes his own way. Brute force gets him nowhere fast. 

With the strange plastic card, Loki buys himself a night in some upscale lodgings - a hotel, he learns is the word - and authorises it all with the signature _Henry Mason_, the name on the card. The scrawl is not hard to mimic and Loki smiles charmingly at the woman at the desk as he confidently does so. He remains in the hotel for two nights before moving on. In his time at the hotel he has discovered television and something rather new called the internet and realises that acclimating to Midgardian culture may go smoother if he has access to either one of these (though he can tell that the internet is in its baby stages as an information resource and resolves to also find what might pass for a library in this realm). 

As the months pass, Loki slowly establishes himself on Midgard. It is not too difficult for him to purchase a permanent place of residence - a rather nice apartment in a good neighbourhood suits him very well - though finding a way to exist legally is a little more of a challenge. Only a little though, for Loki has ample spells to convince people to do as he needs. Before long, he is Lucas Thornton, a British national (for apparently his accent in the Allspeak sounds British) currently on a long holiday in New York City. He changes his appearance too, so he need not continuously worry so much about Heimdall finding him should his shields slip. His dark hair transforms to short, auburn curls, his cheekbones soften just a little and he conceals his jawline with some light stubble. He keeps his eyes green though. He is loathe to part with that feature his mother has often called her favourite.

He spends his time in libraries, gleaning information from books about history and culture. He learns about the various political systems they have, comparing them to Asgard’s monarchy and it’s hegemony over the Nine Realms (not that Midgard knows it). He familiarises himself with Midgard’s economical system and the various kinds of law different countries operate under. He makes sure to acquaint himself well with the culture and history of Britain, should he ever find himself in a situation where he is tested on it, and spends a few weeks over there, experiencing it firsthand. He marvels at both the similarities and differences between New York and London, surprised that in such a small realm there is such variety. Asgard is the same everywhere. 

He invests a little in the stock market and makes himself a modest amount of savings, deposited into a bank account from which he draws for his day to day living. In three months, he feels as though he is well set up to live as a human on Midgard for quite some time. He thinks it would be quite profitable to keep what he has created for himself as a bolt hole away from Asgard, should he ever need it. It would require frequent checking though, given that Midgard changes at a faster rate than Asgard. He would not be able to forget to check it, lest he suddenly find 500 years have passed. He settles (as much as the god of chaos ever can) and he foresees no near end to his sojourn on Midgard. He is away from his irritating brother, his aloof father and the snide court of Asgard. He has had no near death experiences since coming to Midgard, nor has he needed to rescue others from one. He is learning (one must always make an effort to learn, after all) and experiencing something so wholly different from the boredom of Asgard. Everything is good. 

And then he discovers Tony Stark.

* * *

Loki cannot remember what this ball is for. He knows it is a charitable institution that is conducting it, but his reasons for being here are not nearly so altruistic. Whilst he is a solitary creature and really has no wish to create relationships with the Midgardians he lives amongst, living beings (even one such as him) cannot go without social interaction indefinitely. Truth be told, a small part of him misses the duplicitous nature of Asgard’s court. Any court occasion had been an excellent time for Loki to laugh at those around him. So many of the courtiers used those events as a way of ingratiating themselves with those of a higher class and of hindering those they saw as competition. Honour gave way to two-facedness and double-dealing under the table and Loki secretly revelled in the hypocrisy of it all. All of that intrigue Loki assumed would be found in any court, and these social occasions on Midgard were the closest to the Asgardian court he had found. 

This is the third such event he has been to since arriving on Midgard and he has changed his appearance yet again. It allows him to move with ease amongst the others and to form no lasting impressions or attachments to any Midgardian who might attend more than one. Tonight he is brown-haired and clean shaven, shorter than his usual height and more stocky - though no less healthy. He is posing as Alexander Winters, the son of a minor noble in England, who has a slightly more than passing interest in the environment and clean energy. Loki is planning on putting his newfound understanding of Midgardian science to the test.Admittedly, it is centuries behind the Asgardian equivalent, but the concepts are so old and the terminology so unfamiliar it had taken a bit of effort to understand it. He only hopes he can find someone to experiment on - someone with more brains than the airheads who had attached themselves to him at the last ball he attended. 

He stands near the bar and nurses a whiskey (Midgard ’s alcohol is infinitely more varied than Asgard’s and whiskey has quickly become his favourite), surveying the room thoughtfully. He tries not to sneer as he watches the superficial greetings and conversations taking place. It would take him very little time at all to spark an argument, or to orchestrate someone’s downfall in this society, but he cannot be bothered. Tonight is turning out to be little more than a waste of time. 

“Scotch, on the rocks,” a voice demands from next to him. “Don’t know why Obie makes me attend these things.” 

Loki glances sideways at the man next to him. He is short for a Midgardian man, with rich dark brown hair and a well-kept goatee. He taps absent-mindedly on the bar as he waits for his drink and is looking around disinterestedly until he catches Loki looking at him. 

“Not having much fun either?” He asks Loki, with a small grin. Loki takes a sip of his drink and scans the room once more. Ugh. 

“The vultures are out in full force tonight,” the man comments, taking his drink and tipping the bartender. He turns around and stands next to Loki, observing the room with him. “I wonder how long it’s going to be before those two get into a fight?” 

Loki follows the man’s pointed linger to where a rather rotund gentleman is ignoring his wife in favour of the buffet. He smirks.

“Not much longer, if her lover dares to approach her,” he replies, indicating a rather handsome gentleman watching the couple a few feet away. The man standing next to him laughs. 

“Tony Stark,” he introduces himself, clearly expecting some kind of reaction. Loki merely shakes the man’s hand. 

“Alexander Winters,” he replies. Tony looks a little surprised. 

“Tony Stark? CEO of Stark Industries? Ring any bells?” 

“Apologies Mr. Stark. Was I supposed to recognise you?” Loki quips. Tony puts on a hurt look. 

“But I thought everyone knew my name,” he says mournfully. 

“Ah, I am dreadfully sorry. I shall endeavour to make sure I know you the next time we meet,” Loki smirks into his drink as Tony chuckles. Loki’s evening suddenly looks brighter and he finds himself drawn into an intense conversation with Tony Stark (who despite expecting Loki to know who he was, says little to further introduce himself), who asks after Alexander Winters and his interests and they discuss the early beginnings of the hunt for clean, efficient energy sources. Tony’s intellect almost rivals Loki’s own and his understanding of Midgardian science supersedes Loki’s (though not to the extent that they cannot discuss scientific concepts). It is in short the most delightful evening Loki has spent on Midgard in the five months he has been here and he is sad to see it end when Tony’s chauffeur appears. Tony bids him goodbye with a haphazard suggestion of lunch, but sadly Loki already knows it won’t happen. He watches Tony go and a small, quiet longing for companionship - an equal, of sorts - begins to grow. He thinks Tony might be what he has been waiting for.

* * *

When they meet in a coffee shop about two months later, purely by chance, Loki is - as has become his norm on Midgard - Lucas Thornton. He is reading Les Miserables in the original French and enjoying a cup of tea and Tony Stark’s arrival takes him completely by surprise. He has spent the last month concocting various ways of getting the man’s attention and then from there into his bed, but none of his disguises have worked beyond one night of pleasure. Tony’s interest has been little more than of a carnal nature. All of Loki’s preliminary research on the man showed this to be his modus operandi anyway. Tony Stark’s relationship with the tabloids and gossips rags is extensive indeed, and there are many articles detailing the situations the young Tony Stark has found himself in over the last several years. 

He does not even notice Tony until the man addresses him, asking after the enormous book in his hand. He has very presumptively taken the chair opposite Loki and is nonchalantly sipping from his takeaway cup of coffee. Loki hides himself behind his book and attempts an erudite comment about making the effort to read Hugo in French. He is off-balance by his unexpected encounter with Tony and is fighting to regain his equilibrium and mastery over the situation. It seems he’s not the only one who is thrown, though, for Tony too seems to be struggling slightly - his usual charm and sass gone as he rather obviously states that Loki doesn’t sound French. Their stilted conversation continues and Loki feeds Tony Lucas Thornton’s story about being a teacher in London but on extended vacation. Tony looks impressed and holds out his hand. 

“Tony Stark,” he offers. Loki attempts to look a little surprised as he sets down his cup of tea and accepts the handshake. 

“Lucas Thornton,” he replies, hoping this conversation will not end like the one with Alexander Winters. He isn’t sure he could bear it. Fortunately, when Tony has to leave after about an hour’s conversation - apparently he is ridiculously late for a meeting and incredibly unconcerned with this fact - he scribbles a number down on Loki’s bookmark, saying it’s his direct line. 

“This was great. I want to do this again... which is weird. I never want to do this again. Never normally, that is. I actually want to do this again - this between us, right here. So... um... yeah. Call me and we’ll talk and I’m shutting up now and leaving before Obie gets on my ass for being late again,” Tony rambles. Loki smiles and shoos him away gently. Tony walks out the coffee shop and Loki watches him glance back twice before he leaves. 

He waits a few days before calling Tony and he gets straight through to the man himself, whose voice is kind of obscured by the raucous music. After Tony struggles to hear Loki, several times, he relents and turns down the volume and they are able to converse normally. They talk for a little while - mostly about books and a little bit about science and politics, but the conversation is easygoing and relaxed and Loki feels himself warming to this human even more. Eventually they settle on meeting for coffee in the same coffee shop a couple of days later and hang up, Tony apparently being harassed for not attending yet another meeting. They have several coffee dates over the course of the next few weeks, neither one of them daring to mention what it is they’re beginning to build between them. Loki can tell Tony is nervous and twitchy about labelling anything - he knows the human has been an advocate of very brief, lust-filled encounters and nothing deeper for the majority of his adult life thus far. Loki himself has had very few serious relationships (yes, he’s a prince, but he’s not Thor), despite his longer life span, so he understands the trepidation Tony is feeling. 

Gradually their coffee dates become lunch dates and the places they meet go from run-of-the-mill to pricier-than-average to incredibly-fancy-and-don’t-even-ask-the-price. Tony pays, of course, and Loki isn’t allowed to suggest otherwise, or leave a tip. Their weekly extravagant lunch dates continue for about a month, until Tony suggests meeting on a weekend, and they go to a diner and the cinema. Mid-way through the action film they’re viewing, Loki feels a hand curling around his own and he glances down briefly, considering Tony’s hand entwined with his own. 

It’s not a gesture used on Asgard - courtship rituals differ wildly between the two realms, Loki knows this and has taken care to learn Midgardian courtship rituals since whatever this is began with Tony. No, it’s not Asgardian, but he likes it. It’s sweet and understated and he turns slightly to look at Tony, who offers him a small, uncharacteristically shy smile in the darkness of the movie theatre. Loki smiles back and later that evening, when Tony drops Loki off at his apartment, they kiss for the first time. It’s only brief, but like the handholding, it’s understated and meaningful and leaves both of them staring at each other in quiet wonder. Loki thinks no one would ever believe him were he to tell them about this softer, gentler side to Tony Stark. He knows Tony is the manic, I-do-what-I-want-who-gives- a-shit billionaire for the public mostly - but Tony is that person in private sometimes too. The chaos of it is part of who he is (though he does ham it up for the press) and Loki loves chaos - lives for it, even. But the sweeter side is one he relishes seeing because it is his and his alone. 

They have a few more dates like that - on the quiet and under the radar where the press is unlikely to find them. But in the third month of their dating, Tony asks Loki to accompany him to a public event - a charity ball; Loki laughs to himself at the irony - and Loki agrees, knowing that this will mean the press and the public will know of their relationship. Loki knows it will be controversial - humans seem less open to relationships of this kind than Asgard - and that there is likely to be a large public outcry. From what he understands, Stark Industries is also likely to take a hit, as well as Tony’s public image, so he knows what it really means for Tony to ask him this. He accepts and Tony favours him with a grin and an enthusiastic kiss, before immediately starting to arrange for a shopping trip. 

They venture through the malls, Tony disguised as much as he can be and eventually Loki is measured and fitted for an expensive tuxedo, the perfect complement to the one Tony is going to be wearing. From the way Tony is eying him whilst he is being measured, Loki easily guesses what’s on the man’s mind. Their eyes meet in the mirror Loki stands before and Loki smirks just a little. They’re barely through the front door of Loki’s apartment before Tony is on him. Their kissing is almost violent in its intensity and Loki has to remember to keep his strength checked lest he injure Tony and invite unwanted questions. The kissing progresses to groping and pulling off clothes and somehow they manage to stumble through to Loki's bedroom. They collapse naked on the bed together and are lost to carnal pleasures of which the like Loki has not known for a long time - even though he has been with Tony before. It is better for the relationship between them; he knows far more intimate things about Tony now than he did any of the previous times they were together. And now this human - his Tony - is remarkable in so many ways and Loki is lost to him; lost in him. 

When they wake several hours later, it is only two hours until the ball they are supposed to be attending. Tony suggests they skip it in favour of more personal and pleasurable activities, but Loki convinces him otherwise. Tony reluctantly agrees and they travel to his penthouse apartment in order to prepare for the evening. They arrive at the event in Tony's limousine and Tony is the first to exit, to bright flashbulbs and shouts from the press. When he partially leans in to help Loki out of the limousine, they share a brief look and Loki takes a deep breath. How he feels is not dissimilar to how he felt before his coming of age ceremony on Asgard, centuries ago. He knows it will pass as the evening wears on and he gets used to the stares and attention. He expects it will be largely the same as any ceremony on Asgard - he will attract reluctant admiration from a few, but overwhelmingly the attention aimed in his direction will be disgust.

He takes Tony's hand and steps from the limousine, discreetly smoothing the line of his tuxedo jacket as he does so. As he and Tony walk hand-in-hand down the red carpet to the building's entrance, the flashing intensifies and he can hear the shouts of surprise and the invasive questions from the press around them. They will be front page news no doubt. Tony pauses at the door, tugging on Loki's hand just a little, making him stop as well. Tony offers him a reassuring smile before leaning in to place a single peck on Loki's lips. Loki grins as Tony starts to move away, before yanking him back in for a longer, more passionate kiss. The flashes of the watching cameras go wild around them and the shouts crescendo into a roar.

"Think that's enough controversy for them?" Loki asks against Tony's lips just before he pulls away. They share another grin and a light peck before Tony gives the press a friendly wave and they enter the ball together. 

All in all, it is a rather pleasant evening, even if the majority of people they talk to offer them falsely pleased greetings and the rest of them gossip behind their hands. When they are back in the limo at the end of the evening, they collapse into helpless giggles at the ridiculousness of the situation. The next morning, they are provided with a selection of tabloid newspapers and gossip magazines to peruse at their leisure as they enjoy a long morning in bed together. They laugh their way through the surprised, the shocked and the downright scathing tones of the various journalists. There are perhaps one or two who are supportive of Tony Stark's bravery', but the majority remains unsurprisingly narrow-minded, accusing Tony of lying to the world about his sexuality for years. Tony receives an irritated, mildly angry call from Obadiah Stane around noon, with the information that Stark Industries has taken a hit and a plea that Tony think about warning Obadiah when he's going to pull a stunt like this. Tony rolls his eyes for Loki's benefit and offers meaningless apologies to the man before cutting the call off and rolling across the bed towards Loki, his intent clear in his eyes. 

In spite of Tony's desire to ignore the press at large, it has had an effect on his company, so he eventually consents to giving an interview on a talkshow - but only on one with a sympathetic host. Tony's appearance goes well - he introduces Loki (though Loki is not actually there), talks briefly about how they met, outs himself as an 'equal opportunities lover' (which has Loki snorting through his nose rather inelegantly as he laughs when they watch it back) - and in the following week, Stark Industries reveals some new military technology to the brass in the US Army and releases some medical technology to the hospitals across the country and the company is back on top form. 

Of course, in the wake of all this, they've had to return to a more discreet form of dating and  keeping a wary eye on their surroundings when they've been out and about has been necessary as well. Their next public appearance (at the premiere of the film Titanic, a film so horribly boring Loki allows Tony to distract him somewhat) is better than their first, but their relationship is still new to the press at large and still just as controversial. Loki is aware that Tony is shielding him from the worst of the public opinion (most notably, the outspoken, conservative, religious types who have sent threats of violence and death) which he, as Loki, needs no protecting from but Lucas Thornton is grateful for it. Their relationship ticks over quite nicely, then Loki realises that he should probably mention Lucas needing to go home to Britain. 

"Move in here," Tony suggests, almost as soon as Loki mentions his sabbatical coming to an end and his visa's expiration date. Tony looks unfazed and he makes his suggestion confidently. 

"What? Tony, I have a job to return to," Loki replies. He is lying through his teeth to Tony and despite his moniker as the god of lies he hates it. He hates lying to Tony but it is necessary to keep the fiction of Lucas Thornton going. He wishes he could tell Tony the truth, but while Midgard has advanced far beyond what they were when Loki last visited, they are not ready for the knowledge of realms beyond their own. 

"Sabbatical's time out, right? Time to re-evaluate. So don't go back. Give notice and stay here with me," Tony says simply. Loki's heart warms at the simplicity of Tony's want. Tony wants him to stay. 

"What about my visa? What about working? I need money to afford living here, Tony,” Loki lies. Tony remains unruffled.

"You don't need it, not if you're living with me. You won't need to pay rent or bills or whatever - you won't need a job, Lucas."

"I want to work, Tony. I won't be a kept man," Loki says adamantly. Even as a prince, he never allowed the servants to do everything for him. His independence has always been important. Tony relents a little. 

"Look, we can work something out," he says, trying to placate Loki a little. "I just... I don't want you to go, Lucas. Yeah, sure, I can fly to London whenever I want, but I want you here, or in Malibu, or any one of my houses - just... stay with me, okay?" 

Loki looks at Tony for a little while. The man seems panicked, as though he thinks he's said way too much for his own comfort. Loki resists the urge to grin and laugh at his ridiculous human and instead offers him a small smile. 

"Malibu sounds nice," he comments. Tony kisses him in relief and whisks him off to the bedroom. 

Tony gets his lawyers onto Lucas Thornton's visa the next day, and while going to London is necessary for a short while, it is brief and when Loki returns to the US he does so with a visa that allows him to remain in the US indefinitely for the next five years. Loki gives up his flat and together they move from New York to Tony's self-designed mansion in Malibu. It is modem and beautiful and Loki's never seen anything quite like it. The Californian sun reminds him of Asgard and he enjoys the warmth immensely. He takes to sunning himself outside by the mansion's pool on the weekends whilst Tony lurks in his lab, inventing. Amongst various new weapons for the US Army defence contracts, Loki knows Tony is attempting to create an artificial intelligence to wire into the mansion. It takes up a lot of Tony's time, but Loki does not mind as his human creates something remarkable. JARVIS (Just A Rather Very Intelligent System) comes online three months after their move to Malibu and while he has a few kinks that Tony fixes with ease, their life becomes even easier than it had been. JARVIS is astute and intelligent and learns the preferences of his masters fast. 

Loki finds work in the US, translating various works of literature from English into French and vice versa. He works as and when he chooses on a fairly freelance basis, so he is still able to spend significant amounts of time with Tony. They explore California together and venture over to the Caribbean once. He accompanies Tony on a couple of Stark Industries related trips to London and to Japan. They go to the public events - charity balls, premieres, etc - that Tony is required to attend to and their relationship becomes less of an excitement to the media - in fact, the press begin to comment on the longevity of their relationship, surprised that Tony Stark, notorious for his love 'em and leave 'em method, is committed. They laugh over the articles that comment on that, exchanging quiet I love yous in the dark of their bedroom. 

They are deliriously happy together and Loki has almost forgotten Asgard and that he might ever need to return there. What more could he need beyond this human who challenges him intellectually and loves him so dearly? What more could he want?

* * *

Towards the end of November, when they have been together for more than a year, Loki finds himself with his head over the toilet bowl, violently emptying his stomach of whatever remained in it from dinner the night before. He moans quietly and miserably to himself, hoping that Tony will not hear him. This has been happening for around a week now and unpleasant as it is, what Loki believes it may be makes him all at once excited and terrified. This has happened to him several times before so his experience is enough that he is confident without really needing to explore further, but he did not think this could happen with a human. Those of Midgard differ enough from the Aesir that Loki thought this impossible. 

He wipes his mouth with some wadded up toilet roll before running himself a glass of water from the tap. As he rinses his mouth and brushes his teeth, he refuses to think about the possibilities of the cause of his illness. He is unable to fall back asleep, so he ventures out of the bedroom and down into the main part of the mansion. He asks JARVIS to play him some soothing music and makes himself comfortable on the luxurious sofa. He dozes on and off for a couple of hours, any dreams fragmented and unnerving. He is woken by Tony, who looks down at him, concerned. 

“You alright, babe? Lucas?” He asks gently. Loki makes an effort to smile as he sits up slowly. Is stomach churns a little and he wills it to stop. He doesn’t want Tony to know yet - if at all. He needs time alone to make that decision, though he thinks he already knows what it will be. 

“I’m fine. Just wasn’t sleeping well. Don’t know why,” he lies. Tony looks less worried, but he leans down and presses a tender kiss to the top of Loki’ s head before offering coffee. Loki accepts eagerly, hoping it might shake him from his part drowsy, part worried state but his stomach churns at the thought and he changes his mind. 

“On second thoughts, I think I’ll have orange juice instead. Too warm for coffee,” he tries with a grin. Tony shoots him a worried glance but shrugs and heads in the direction of the kitchen. Loki asks JARVIS to turn off the music before following Tony through. While Tony gets the coffee machine going, Loki makes a start on pancakes for the two of them, flipping them with a learned excellence. During his time here in Midgard, he has mastered many a task that he had never thought he would need to do. He is now proficient in cooking a wide variety of meals, much to Tony’s delight. If Loki were unable to cook, he thinks they would be eating take out every day and that Tony would be far less healthy than he is now. As he flips the pancakes, Tony comes up behind him and presses a kiss to his shoulder.

“So, I was thinking that after my really boring totally necessary and irritating meeting today that we could head out to the New York penthouse for the next week. You know - do some shopping, see the sights, etcetera. It’s been a while since we’ve just had some time,” Tony suggests. Loki leans back into Tony as he plates up the pancake he’s been flipping.

“The idea has merit. You are certain R&D can spare your time?” 

“Hey, I’ve just completed six designs and had them patented. The board of directors will sign off on them this afternoon and then they’ll go into production. Pretty sure they can spare me for a week,” Tony comments with a cheeky grin. Loki passes him a plate and the syrup. He looks at his own and his stomach lurches. He just doesn’t think he can eat right now, not if he doesn’t want it coming back while Tony’s around. Instead, he putters around the kitchen while Tony rambles and eats, doing little things to keep himself distracted and busy so Tony doesn’t realise he’s not eating. He puts it off as long as he can, but thankfully by the time he’s resigning himself to plating up his own pancakes and forcing himself to eat them, Tony is heading out of the kitchen with an apology and a promise that he’ll be back by lunch. He leaves the mansion with a delighted shout of New York, baby! Loki scrapes his pancakes into the bin. 

He slowly makes himself vaguely presentable before daring to leave the mansion. He needs to be alone and without JARVIS’s all-seeing nature recording what he’s going to do. At first he walks a fair way down the beach until he is far enough from the mansion’s cameras before teleporting away to a fairly secluded park that he knows is nearby. In amongst the trees, it is quiet and peaceful and Loki is alone. He sits down on the ground and crosses his legs, before closing his eyes and turning his sight inwards. He follows the core of his magic down through his body until it branches out where it doesn’t normally. This particular thread is rather active and glowing more than the others and he follows it along to where it seems to end. A new magical core is growing there, slowly and Loki’s earlier assumptions are proved right. 

He spends the next week in tortured indecision about what he should do and hoping that Tony doesn’t notice as they travel around New York City like tourists. He thinks his acting ability is good enough that his distraction isn’t noticed, but occasionally Tony gives him strange looks. When he’s asked if he’s alright, Loki lies superbly (he is the god of lies, after all) and Tony seems satisfied in the interim. It is December now and the Midgardian Yule festival, Christmas, is rapidly approaching. The shops are heaving as they walk through, disguised. Tony buys Loki a couple of frivolous trinkets and Loki reciprocates in kind, but his heart is breaking. He lies awake at night, next to Tony in their bed in the penthouse, thinking of what he has to do. 

He cannot tell Tony. Midgard is not yet ready for knowledge of other realms and the beings that inhabit them. Their understanding of science would make it all too far-fetched and even Tony, who is so far ahead of his time, would struggle to believe the truth of who Loki was and where he is from, never mind the fact that he - a man - is pregnant. That is just the simple beginning of why Loki cannot tell Tony. 

Asgard. Odin. The Prophecy of Ragnarök and the End of the Gods. He knows what Odin intends for any children he ever has. Sleipnir’s servitude is a good example of that. Hel cast out, Jörmungandr and Fenrir’s imprisonment, Narfi and Váli’s deaths - all of them suffering or dead because of Odin’s decrees. This child, the one growing within him even now, must be protected from that. Loki will not lose another child to the Allfather and some prophecy that is little more than superstition. He could leave the child with Tony, of course, but that would require he tell Tony the truth, and he cannot be sure that even with his disguises and tricks, that Odin or Heimdall have not seen him here. He has been away from Asgard long enough that they might have searched for him and he worries that they may have found him. No, he must leave Tony, as much as it will break his heart to do so. He must give up the child to a safer place where he or she will be lovingly cared for and away from Odin’s vain intentions. He has to leave. There is no other choice.

* * *

_My dearest Tony,_

_My heart is breaking as I write this. I cannot explain. Some things are far too complicated for mere words to give them light. I wish I could tell you, but I fear even your understanding and comprehension would be tested unto incredulity._

_These last eighteen months have been precious to me. Never would I have imagined that I could meet someone like you - someone so intelligent, so witty, so thoughtful, so generous and so loving. Our time together has been so full of joy for me - something I realise I have had surprisingly little of before I met you._

_But all things must come to an end - though some more prematurely than hoped for. You are the very best of men, Anthony Stark - better than I, for I am choosing the coward’s way out - and I would not change any of our time together for anything in all the realms._

_Don’t look for me - I know you will, but I’m asking anyway. Don’t look; you won't find me so don’t torment yourself so._

_I know l am making myself the villain here and villains are undeserving of charity, but please, I beg you, remember the better times and keep those in your heart. Please, just know that I am sorry. I am sorry, dear heart._

_I love you._

_Lucas_

* * *

After the baby is born and Loki has left him the care of the Midgardian Wizarding couple, he conceals himself and teleports back to New York. The penthouse is startlingly empty. A few paintings are missing from the walls and several pieces of furniture have been replaced, but essentially it is as it always was. Not finding what he wished to in New York, Loki teleports from there to Malibu and remains concealed as he appears in the mansion. It is dark for the middle of the day - the glass windows are darkened and where there are curtains, they are drawn tightly shut. There are empty bottles for a variety of different alcoholic drinks strewn about the kitchen. When he descends to the lab, it is devoid of life. DUM-E and U and Butterfingers are powered down and the lab itself is a mess. Again, more empty bottles. Screwed up paper decorates the surfaces and floors. There is smashed glass and other detritus across the floor and Loki thinks he sees drops of dried blood but he is uncertain. His heart aches and he heads for the last place he will look. 

As he silently enters the bedroom, he notes the trail of discarded clothing and in the bed he sees two figures. One is a woman, unfamiliar to Loki - blonde and curvaceous with a pretty face - and she is naked beneath the silk sheets. Next to her lies Tony. He is sleeping, but fitfully and he looks unhappy. There are new stress lines in his forehead and around his eyes and Loki’s heart breaks just a little bit more. He moves closer to the bed, casting a mild sleeping charm on the woman as he kneels at Tony’s side. His hand trembles as he reaches out and gently cups Tony’s cheek. He slowly, carefully and intricately weaves a powerful spell of protection around the man before leaning even closer and pressing a tender, loving kiss to Tony’s lips. He stills as Tony stirs briefly, but the man falls back asleep easily. 

“I am sorry, dear heart,” he whispers, eyes blurring from tears. “I love you.” 

As he moves to stand, something catches his eye and he turns to look at the bedside table. Sticking out of the top drawer is the rumpled comer of a letter. Loki’s curiosity gets the better of him - Tony despises paper and writing; _computers do it better, Lucas_ \- and he carefully opens the drawer and extracts the letter. It’s the one he left for Tony eight months ago. It’s crumpled and torn a little at the edges. It’s been taped back together at least once - there’s sellotape holding it together - but Loki can still clearly read his own words. He slips it back into the drawer without reading it, taking care to leave it as he found it. With one last glance at Tony, he teleports away.

* * *

If he had expected Asgard to herald his return with a feast, he would have been disappointed. All he receives are a few bland greetings from Sif and the Warriors Three, a ‘welcome home, Prince Loki’ from his few regular servants. His father inquires after his trip with a knowing look in his eye, which Loki avoids, giving his mother his attention as she asks whether his studies were profitable. He answers in the affirmative, saying he learned much in his time away and is well rested and ready to return to his courtly duties. When he reaches his rooms, Thor is waiting for him and gives him a warm, tight embrace which engulfs Loki. He takes a little bit of solace in Thor’s warm welcome, acknowledging that perhaps he missed Thor, after all. Thor, along with their mother, is the most effusive in welcoming him home and Loki appreciates it. He is heartsore from the events that have passed on Midgard and in great need of support, even though he can never tell them why. 

The next few years pass as they always do on Asgard, with hunts and minor skirmishes, daily weapons training and court intrigues, studies on kingship and ruling and more magical arts, diplomatic visits from other realms. Loki remains bereft, but it is now a dull ache, only sharpening when he dares to look in on Midgard, searching out Tony, where ever he might be. He sees parties and drinking and women and more inventions and Tony seems happy, though Loki can tell he’s not. He doesn’t dare risk checking on their son. Whilst he doesn’t think Odin knows of Tony and all that passed on Midgard, he doesn’t want to risk the chance of Odin finding their son. He simply trusts that the Potters are taking good care of him. 

He tries to put them out of his mind. But then it is announced that Thor is to be made king soon and his brother becomes unbearably arrogant once more. Asgard is full of celebrations and cheer for the soon-to-be-king and Loki seethes for the lies his father told them both, when it is suddenly clear to Loki that all this time, only Thor was ever going to be made king. He longs to run away; to run for Midgard and find Tony again - to find their son and become a family, but it is impossible. His duty is to stay on Asgard and welcome the new king, supporting him as any loyal brother and subject should. He cannot help but think that Thor’s arrogance and stupidity will ruin Asgard though. Thor, rule? It is a ridiculous notion and he needs set things right. Maybe once all is set right, he will be king and Odin’s decrees about his children will no longer matter. Maybe Loki will be able to bring his children home. Maybe he will be able to finally meet Hávarðr. Maybe he will be able to tell Tony. He dares to hope. 

He shows the pathway to the Frost Giants. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! And if any of you read this way back when I first posted it, hello again! :)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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